


Innocence

by Hikikomori_Ho (orphan_account)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Yes you read it right, campus life, gigolo hoseok, he is a gentleman, hoseok is the main character along with hyunwoo, hyunwoo hates gossiping, showho is so cute, there's no smut here, tuitions are expensive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 00:50:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Hikikomori_Ho
Summary: hyunwoo hated it when people gossiped about the black-haired muscular guy in their university. and he was absolutely curious about him and what kind of a person he could be. but the countless ladies dangling by his huge biceps never really gave him the opportunity.





	Innocence

**Author's Note:**

> ' each man's hell is in a different place:  
> mine is just up and behind my ruined face. '
> 
>  
> 
> hi hello anneyong~  
> remember when i said hyungwonho is my religion? well, it's not anymore. it's just a fluffy cute ship to me now along with showho. these two are so fucking cute together!
> 
> anyway, it's a fluffy showho story because what else can it be when it comes to these two hyungs?! ( of course there's a bit of angst cuz let's face it, i can't write anything without unnecessary drama scattered all over the place! )
> 
> enjoy~
> 
> ps. you can follow me on IG ( it's solely for my fics. ) ^ ω ^  
> [@hikikomori_ho](https://www.instagram.com/hikikomori_ho/)

      

 

 

 

 

 

they were sitting outside of the cafeteria they visited almost every day after their classes finished. and they saw the person they’d see almost every time they were sitting there pass by, yet with another woman clung to his arm. they got into a very fancy car and drove away.

 

 

“ jesus! doesn’t he get, i don’t know, exhausted? how strong can his libido actually be?! “ kihyun groaned from the seat next to him as he eyed the black-haired boy across the street.

 

“ i once heard that the stuff they take to like have big ass muscles actually affect hormones and they become an all-time-horny beast or something.” minhyuk said as a matter of factly as he chewed on his sandwich. 

 

“ bullshit! then hyunwoo should be a horny beast as well but here he is not knowing how sex is even spelled! “ changkyun snorted as he took another look at the direction of the car that was long gone by now. jooheon and the other two broke into laughter because of his straight out answer.

 

“ well, i don’t know about that but what i know is that i’m not nearly half as big as he is and i don’t take anything to build muscles. that dude does some serious working out! all i do is swim. i wish i had his body though.” hyunwoo said with his mouth full of cake.

 

“ aw! look at our bro drooling over a gigolo’s body “ kihyun teased him and earned himself a slap.

 

“ we don’t know if he’s a gigolo though “ jooheon said with questioned expression.

 

“ oh please! have you seen how expensive all the women we see him with look?! everyone on the campus knows he’s a gigolo! “ changkyun said without any kind of judgmental look on his face. 

 

“ if ya’ll were women, would you pay him to fuck you? considering his face and body and all? i bet he can throw them around and go all night! wow i’m actually starting to envy him! or the women. yeah definitely the women! “ minhyuk said and licked over his lips.

 

“ dude! your gayness is showing! “ jooheon slapped the other’s shoulder chuckling.

 

“ well, i _am_ gay! “ minhyuk stuck his tongue out at him and rubbed over his skin that was hit.

 

“ i don’t actually wanna think about that. not comfortable with picturing myself as a woman. “ changkyun said shrugging.

 

“ i wouldn’t mind being a woman if that meant i would be as rich as the women he picks up! “ kihyun said as he looked through his book, both reading and participating in the conversation.

 

 

it was always like that. the muscular boy with the black hair and an intimidating gaze was always the talk of the students of their university. 

not many knew his name though. he never talked to anyone. he would come in the class just a second before the professor, sit in the very back and leave when everyone had already left. the boy had a single room to himself on the campus so there was no roommate anyone could get new gossip-worthy information from. all in all the boy was a mystery, like an unknown being that everyone was so into and despised at the same time.

 

hyunwoo tried his best not to get involved in conversations regarding the boy or any other gossiping as a matter of fact. he hated it. his father always told him to never judge a book by its cover and his mother always said there’s more to people than meets the eye.

but not getting involved in gossiping didn’t mean he didn’t find the boy interesting. there was just something about him. his aura was.. it was complex. like sometimes hyunwoo was sure the boy was extremely sad even though his face wasn’t showing any emotions. or when he would take his paper from the professors and his eyes lit up looking at his grade and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. those occasions were very rare to see though because most of the professors emailed them the results instead.

hyunwoo didn’t know exactly what the boy’s major was but they had a few classed together so he must have been studying something related to his own major, which was construction engineering.

 

 

 

their fourth and last year had just started. but this year, there were a few changes in the rooms that the students would be staying at in the campus. the university had built a new building and it was decided for the fourth years to move into the new one. the room numbers would be emailed to them two days before the starting of the classes.

 

hyunwoo was unpacking his things in the new room he got assigned to. it had two beds meaning he would have a roommate. a new one, since kihyun who was his roommate until the last semester was now paired with minhyuk.

 

 hyunwoo was still awake, listening to music, when at past midnight the door opened and a figure walked in with a giant box hiding the face behind it. but it didn’t take long as the boy put the box down and stood back up, his eyes landing on him lying on the bed. it was him. the.. the gigolo guy.

 

the black-haired boy tore his gaze away and left the room. it was about fifteen minutes later when he came back with two very big suitcases in hand.

hyunwoo waited for him to say something at first, a hi or hello or what's up or something but when it didn’t happen, he decided to take the step himself. he was taught to have gentleman-like manners after all.

 

“ hey, um.. hi “ that was absolutely awkward. he was sitting on the edge of his bed, without a shirt, greeting the guy he hadn’t spoken one word to in the whole three years they passed by each other in the hallways of the university.

the guy looked back at him from over his shoulder as he was crouching down, opening his suitcases.

“ hi “ was the short answer he got before the boy looked away and resumed his unpacking.

“ so, i…,uh,… i kinda just took over this side of the room without waiting for my roommate to ask which side he wanted. “ he paused “ do you wanna change sides?! “ hyunwoo said actually becoming aware of his mistake there.

“ it’s okay. “ was another short answer. he was ready to just give up and go back to his music, letting the air remain thick between them, when the low voice spoke again.

“ actually, i do prefer the left side. so if you don’t mind being in the right, i’d like to swap. “ he said as turned around and looked down at hyunwoo while standing tall with his muscles bulging out.

he nodded and stood up immediately, starting to take his stuff off the left bed and throwing them on the right one across the room. he then went to move his other belongings to the other side of the room. now that he was thinking about it, the guy almost always sat in the left corner in the back of the class.

turning around to get his last few books from the left table, he noticed the many types of equipment in the open suitcase.

“ what do you major in? “ he asked in an instant, taking his books in hand.

there was a pause before the reply came. “ architecture and interior design “

so that was what all the equipment was for. for all the maquettes he must be making for his major.

“ that’s why we have few classes together then. mine is construction. “

the black-haired guy hummed but didn’t say any further. looking at him, hyunwoo saw how tired his face looked. like he was ready to pass out any second.

“ so, are you gonna continue studying after bachelors? “ he asked just for the sake of breaking the ice.

the guy must have had enough of the awkwardness or even annoyed as he sighed heavily, stood up and turned around to face him. he was actually shorter.

“ look, there’s no need to get to know each other, okay? you don’t have to do this. we don’t have to talk. “ he said tiredly with his hoarse voice.

“ we don’t have to and there’s no need but i’d like to. “ hyunwoo answered calmly followed by a gentle smile on his face.

“ my name is hyunwoo by the way. son hyunwoo. “ he added as he stretched his hand toward the other. “ and you are? “ 

the other guy raised his eyebrow as he shook his hand firmly.

“ so what? you guys talk behind my back without knowing my name? what do call me then when you talk trash? “ he let go of hyunwoo’s hand and turned around but stopped midway as his mouth widened in what looked like a realization “ ah yeah! i heard it a few times while passing. ‘ the gigolo ‘ do you and your friends call me that as well? “ 

he looked into hyunwoo’s eyes with such intense gaze for a few seconds, he actually couldn’t breathe. not because of the intimidating eyes but because the other’s words carried so much hurt within them.

“ i…’m sorry about that. “ he said stealing his eyes away “ but i swear i never talk behind your back. well, my friends do but it’s… “ he sighed and gave up “ i just don’t like judging people. “

the guy was still staring at him for a few long seconds with a slight frown.

“ hoseok “ he said as he turned around and got back to his business. “ lee hoseok”

 

 

 

Lee hoseok remained a mystery even though they had been roommates for the past three months. he would come back late at night, usually past midnight when hyunwoo had already been asleep for a while. although he would wake up due to the shuffling but didn’t move to not make hoseok feel bad about having woken him up.

the boy would take a shower that lasted about 30-40 minutes, too long compared to hyunwoo who would quickly wash himself in like 5 minutes, and then he would start studying and working on his projects right away.

he would sleep for two to three hours before his morning classes and then he wouldn’t be back until late at night again. hyunwoo and his friends saw him with new women many days a week in the evenings still.

they didn’t really talk. only when hyunwoo was awake when hoseok came back would they exchange a few sentences, him always being the one who started the conversation.

 

 

the finals were around the corner and everyone was losing their minds. hyunwoo was dying under the pressure as he needed really good grades but there was this one course he just couldn’t understand shit from no matter how hard he studied. it was actually one of the courses they had together with hoseok but the other guy seemed rather composed, studying calmly and working on his thousand projects with complete concentration. they would sit behind their desks, their backs to each other and study in complete silence of the room. he was thankful hoseok didn’t study with music on as he had almost lost his mind with kihyun when the guy’s music always came out of his headphones and interrupted hyunwoo’s focus.

 

groaning in frustration, he spun his chair around to ask hoseok if he knew what the hell this article was even implying. only that all of his thoughts and stress vanished into thin air as soon as his eyes landed on the muscular guy across the room which wasn’t farther than three meters away.

hoseok was sitting on the ground, back against the wall as he was supposedly sketching and a half-built maquette was placed in front of him on the floor with the rest of the equipment scattered all around him. but those things weren’t what caught hyunwoo’s attention. the genuine smile on the other guy’s face was. he was smiling beautifully at the paper in his hand as he drew. hoseok had a pencil behind each of his ears and believe it or not, he had his eraser landed on his collarbone, perfectly safe and unable to fall with how defined it was. he would take a pencil from behind his ear while taking the one he was working with until then between his lips by his teeth. and when he wasn’t satisfied with something, he would reach out to his collarbone, take the eraser and place it there again after he was done with it. he had his knees close to his chest and his ankles were cutely crossed. only then hyunwoo noticed the tattoo on his foot, he hadn’t seen it before as he had never seen hoseok in that position before or any other position. he always saw his back or when he was already rushing out of the room in the morning so there hadn’t been any chance to. he had seen him in one other position, which was him sleeping so peacefully and innocently. his lips parted just a bit and the duvet covering all the way up to his neck. he looked really adorable while sleeping and hyunwoo often found himself wanting to brush the hair that had fallen on his face away the times he was awake when the other wasn’t.

he must have been staring for quite a while as hoseok, despite being completely lost in his own world, noticed and looked at him.

“ hm? “ he had a soft expression on his face. almost like he was happy. 

“ ah.. uh…. “ he panicked. was he just staring at hoseok thinking he was cute? hoseok who had a bigger, more muscular body than him?! what the fuck?!

“ what is it hyunwoo? are you having a fever? your face is all red! “ the black-haired guy chuckled and pointed at him with his pencil, not taking his eyes away and not giving him the chance to just dissolve into the air. he was blushing like crazy and hoseok had just pointed it out, obviously not knowing what the reason was. or that was what hyunwoo hoped for.

“ no, i’m okay. “ he quickly answered “ do you, .. can you help me with this? “ he reached behind himself and took the book from the desk, holding it in the air for the other to see.

there was another chuckle, which sounded so beautiful and cute-, _‘ ah, shut up hyunwoo. he is not cute. repeat it. hoseok is not cute. he is cold and a fuckboy and intimidating. ‘_ his head screamed at him. everyone said that his roommate was cold, a fuckboy and intimidating. but the person who was sitting on the ground in front of him with his low cut shirt and his shorts, smiling like crazy at the piece he was working on and then chuckling that beautifully was none of those things. instead he looked sweet, innocent and yes, **cute**.

 

standing up after carefully having put the paper in his hand down, hoseok walked toward him and took the book from his hand. the eraser was still on that exposed collarbone which was now so close to hyunwoo. they had never been this close before. the other guy was merely a step away from him and god he smelled so damn good.

“ what do you need help with? i’m actually pretty good at this one. “ he heard the low voice say but it didn’t break the trance of hyunwoo’s thoughts as he lifted his hand, reached out and took the eraser off of the perfectly shaped collarbone.

hoseok’s eyes widened comically as he followed the other’s hand and realized the object was there all along. he laughed at his own stupidity and took the object from hyunwoo, throwing it on his own desk.

“ so? you didn’t answer me. “ he asked again and hyunwoo looked up at him.

“ honestly? i don’t understand shit. it’s all so complicated to me. “ he sighed in defeat. “ but you have a lot to do in so little time so just if you could give me your notes or something that would be enough help. “

hoseok observed him for a few seconds before gently putting his book on his desk and going toward his own.

“ here. my notes. you can also ask whatever you don’t get in there. i don’t mind. “ he said handing him a thick notebook and smiled. hyunwoo found himself wanting to see this side of the other guy more often. smiling, chuckling and being friendly.

 

just like hoseok had said, he answered to the million questions that hyunwoo asked him patiently and with the help of the other guy’s amazing notes, he ended up actually learning everything there was to learn. he couldn’t be happier because as soon as they took the exam, he just knew he’d have a good grade.

hoseok didn’t leave much for the first two weeks of the finals. he’d stay at their shared room all day, mostly working on his projects and building perfect maquettes with so much detail and so much care. it was obvious that the guy loved his major with how passionate he was when it came to it. but sometimes when his phone rang, he would leave for a few hours and when he came back, it was like his soul had left his body and he was back to his cold and intimidating-looking self. he would again, go into the shower for a long time.

it was the third and the last week of their exams before they’d have a two-week break. they were sitting on their own desks, studying silently. hyunwoo stood up to stretch a bit and as he turned around, he saw hoseok had fallen asleep on the pile of his books and notes. his cheeks were squished by the surface and his hands were adorable spread on it. he decided to let him sleep for a bit before waking him up.

but it didn’t last long as the familiar ringtone broke the silence of the room. hoseok’s body jerked immediately and he sat up, searching for the device all over his desk. hyunwoo, who was still standing there watching him, shook his head and took the phone from the guy’s bed and handed it to him.

“ hm? “ hoseok mumbled still probably half-asleep as he kept rubbing on his eye with his free hand.

“ for two weeks? “ he asked as his facial expression hardened and his hand fell on his lap.

“ how much? “

“ okay “

“ of course baby. see you. “ he winced as he threw his phone away and rubbed his palms over his face furiously.

hoseok looked down at all of the books for a few seconds before he stood up all of a sudden, changed and left without a word. when he came back later that night, his neck and chest were covered in so many angry hickeys. he ended up wearing turtlenecks for the next few days until they healed. it looked so uncomfortable. hoseok looked uncomfortable. hyunwoo had figured that the guy likes low-cut loose shirts and shorts as he wore them all the time in the room but then, with the hickeys, it was like he wanted to cover them with the fabric so even he wouldn’t see them. he even slept in a turtleneck.

 

 

“ thank you so much hoseok. i got an A! i would definitely fail if it wasn’t for your help. “ hyunwoo said as soon as he checked his profile on the university website.

he didn’t get more than a hum in reply. the guy was packing clothes in a handbag.

“ did you get good grades? “ he tried again.

“ yeah “ hoseok said under his breath, closed the zipper of the bag and stood up, looking directly at him. “ all As “ he chuckled bitterly, threw his bag over his shoulder and yet again, left.

 

 

 

hyunwoo wasn’t in the campus for the two-week break as he went on a trip with his parents. a trip that resulted in him seeing the stuff he wanted to unseen.

they went on a cruise that would be sailing on the sea for a whole two weeks. that was where he saw hoseok. the guys in his all muscular glory, surrounded by a group of elderly women. he had a nasty grin on his face present all the time as he danced with them one after the other. he was nothing like the person hyunwoo knew when they were at their room. he was nothing like the innocent hoseok he saw sleeping. this guy.. he was a total playboy. thorough and thorough.

 

it was the fifth night of their stay. hyunwoo walked out to get some fresh air as he couldn’t sleep. it was early in the morning but still dark. as he walked to the deck of the cruise, he saw an all too familiar figure with broad shoulders, leaning on the taffrails. he was hesitant but decided to go to him in the end. hoseok must have seen him around by now anyway.

 

“ hey “ he said as he stopped next to the guy with a small gap between them.

hoseok looked to the side but not at him directly “ hey “

“ it’s quite unusual to see you alone like this here. “ hyunwoo didn’t mean to sound like he did but his mouth talked before he could process.

the other guy chuckled tiredly “ i know right.. “

he was regretting it so much. hoseok’s face looked really sad.

“ i’m sorry… didn’t mean it that way.. i- “ he was cut off by the sound of a ringtone. a different one he hadn’t heard.

 

taking the device out, hoseok inhaled deeply, closed his eyes for a few seconds before re-opening them as a giant smile appeared on his face and he pressed the green icon.

“ hyungwonnie “ it was a video call and a rather handsome boy came into view.

“ hyung! “ the boy nearly screeched with excitement. “ do you know how long it’s been? i missed you! why didn’t you call me? “ he pouted.

hoseok laughed beautifully at that “ it’s been only a week you brat! you can’t love me that much to make this big of a fuss over only seven days of not video-calling. “

“ you’re a jerk! how can i not miss my brother? although the said guy practically forced me out of the country, but i know that deep down you love me just as much! “ the supposed hyungwon said.

“ hmm, i love you lots. “ he paused and just looked at the boy. “ how’s school? everything okay? do you need money? i’ll send you some next week anyway but if you need anything just tell me. “

hyunwoo felt so out of place. like he was intruding in something sacred. the two brothers looked very close as they talked, each careful with the words they said for some reason. but he couldn’t leave. hyunwoo couldn’t take his eyes away from his roommate who looked like someone you could really rely on at that moment. you could tell how much he really loved the boy he was talking to. it was written all over his face and in the sparkling eyes and the wide smile that wasn’t fake like the one right before the call was answered.

“ no hyung. i don’t need money. you send me a lot every month that i even manage to save some! and school is fine. i got all As again. and .. are you ready for the big news? “

“ hm? big news? tell me! “ his eyebrows lifted in anticipation.

“ i got a girlfriend! “ hyungwon announced like he had discovered a new continent.

“ wow, REALLY? is it katy? the one you’ve been crushing on since forever? “ hoseok seemed just as excited. hyunwoo found himself smiling at that without knowing.

“ YES! i finally gathered my courage and asked her out! and she said YES! can you believe it?! i wish i’d asked sooner!!! “ hyungwon pouted again and hoseok laughed out loud. it was the first time hyunwoo was hearing and seeing him laugh like that. he wanted it to last longer. not that it meant anything to him, just that the sound of his laugh was just simply beautiful. yeah, just that.

“ send me some pictures of the both of you later. and i wanna talk to her the next time we talk, okay? “ 

“ of course! i can’t wait for you to talk to her. “ there was a moment of silence as they both looked down all of a sudden.

“ i wish you were here with me. i hate it that you’re there, alone and god knows working how hard to be able to send me these ridiculous amounts of money.. “ hyungwon’s voice was but a whisper.

“ i wish i was there with you as well. but i promised i’d go there as soon as i can, didn’t i? and don’t worry about me. i got a good job that pays me well. i’m not working hard at all. “ hoseok turned around and showed the cruise “ see? i’m even on a cruise for my two-week break. you should have some fun with your friends as well. just no clubs, alcohol or unsafe sex, okay? “

hyungwon didn’t say anything for a while “ i promise i will take care of myself. no clubs, alcohol or unsafe sex. “ it seemed like it was something the older told his brother often for him to repeat it like that like it was carved into his brain.

“ i’m sorry hyungwonie, you know i wouldn’t send you there alone if i could go with you, right? “ he said in the gentlest tone.

“ i know hyung.. just, hurry up and come as fast as you can. i want you here by the time i graduate high school. please.. “ 

“ your graduation is in two years. i’ll try my very best. pinkie promise. “ hoseok lifted his pinkie in front of the camera and so did the other boy.

“ hyung, i gotta go now. my break is ove- “ and then he suddenly stopped himself from talking. hoseok’s facial expression hardened.

“ you break? it’s- “ he looked at his watch “ it’s 6pm there. school must be over by now. what did you have a break from hyungwon? “ his voice was lower and more firm all of a sudden.

“ i… well… i kinda got a job at a coffee shop… “ the guy stuttered so much like he was genuinely ashamed or scared.

“ a job?! “ hoseok repeated it like it was a curse.

“ what do you need a job for? do you need more money? i thought you said i send too much?? what are you hiding from me hyungwon? ”

“ no no no “ the younger said frantically “ i don’t need money. i just.. i just wanted to work, you know. i’m 16. people here throw their kids out of the house without a penny at 16. i can’t take your money forever hyung. i need to become an independent responsible adult already. “

“ you have the rest of your life to become an adult. adulthood isn’t something you should be looking forward to. it’s shit. remain a kid for now. play around, have fun and enjoy a free life. at least until you’re 18. “ hoseok frown was growing deeper by second as he talked.

“ but… “

“ no buts hyungwon. quit. you said you got a girl now, right? when are you gonna find the time to study between working and going on dates? or are you giving up on that? “

“ no! of course not! never! i would never let you and mom and dad down like that. i just.. don’t wanna go on a date with the money that you send me. it just doesn’t feel right. i wanna help hyung.. i know it’s hard on you even though you say it’s not. just let me work for a while and if it affects my grades, i’ll quit. okay? okay? hm? “ he started acting cute to seduce his older brother.

sighing in defeat, hoseok agreed to the condition. they talked a bit more about a few things in hyungwon’s life before hanging up.

 

“ he’s cute! “ hyunwoo said as he chuckled. “ you both are! “ again, he couldn’t stop his mouth from pouring nonsense out.

hoseok threw him a questioning look from the side of his eye but a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“ thanks. “

hyunwoo was taken aback. he was expecting a ‘wtf’ or a ‘ew, you’re gay’ or anything other than the sweet and shy ‘ thanks ‘ he got.

he was about to say something when the other’s phone lit up again.

“ well, duty calls. “ hoseok showed his phone. “ have fun hyunwoo. “ he patted his back before turning on his heel and walking away.

 

the rest of the holiday was the same. hoseok was surrounded by those women. his arms were always occupied, grabbing a waist or a face as he kissed. their rooms were on the same hallway so hyunwoo saw that each night, one of the women would take him to her room. it was making him sick. knowing that he was indeed a gigolo. but that wasn’t really what made his stomach turn. the look of disgust on hoseok every time they crossed paths in the hallways or the strong smell of cigarette and alcohol he reeked of, was. hyunwoo was extremely uncomfortable seeing hoseok touch and being touched like that he had no idea why. he just wanted the two weeks to end. for them to go back to the land so he could escape the sight as soon as possible. it was so much better not knowing what hoseok did while he wasn’t in the campus. now, hyunwoo knew where he went and what kind of things he did while being out. and he didn’t like the knowledge he had gained. not one bit.

 

 

 

the new semester had started and it had become really cold. his body temperature was actually high most of the time so he was okay but his roommate.. this guy was freezing even under layers upon layers of blankets. yet he went out with as little clothing as possible when he came back to the campus to quickly change after his classes. fashion always came first for him apparently. or was it the women who wanted him to dress that way? hyunwoo didn’t wanna think about it.

 

“ see? i told you you’d catch a cold going out like that. people are wearing sweaters under their two layered jackets hoseok and you go out in ripped jeans and a low-cut. what the fuck? “ hyunwoo scolded him as he handed the other guy a mug of hot tea. hoseok’s hand found itself out of the blankets he wrapped around himself as he sat on the bed, studying.

 

“ thanks. “ he sniffled and then sneezed a couple of times followed by rough dry coughs. “ i wore a jacket. “ he said as he looked up at hyunwoo from under his wet-with-sweat bangs.

 

“ that jacket doesn’t do shit other than making the person who wears it extremely hot. which is unnecessary in your situation. you can literally wear a potato sack and still look good so please wear accordingly from now on. they will undress you as soon as they get you alone so why bother? “ hyunwoo bit his tongue as he managed to minimize the amount of his showing rage.

 

hoseok froze completely as he stared at him with a parted mouth. only then hyunwoo realized what he had said. that he had screwed up again.

 

“ i-.. “ he started but was cut off.

“ what? you’re sorry? i get it. no need to be. “ he chuckled bitterly and it made him cough again. “ it’s a rather competitive field. there are many others, far better at looks and body than me. i can’t lose to them. i can’t afford to lose to them. “ he said with his head low as he played with the mug in his hands, whispering the last sentence mostly to himself but hyunwoo heard it all.

 

“ is it because of hyungwon? your brother? “ he asked as he sat by the bed to be able to look at hoseok’s face.

the latter nodded as he kept biting on his bottom lip.

“ he has to have a good life. i don’t want him to experience the hardships i did. “ he paused and sighed “ and then there’s this huge university tuition that is literally breaking my back. “

hoseok sniffled and brought the mug to his lips, a little too soon as it was still too hot. hot enough to burn the smooth skin of the soft lips. hoseok winced and flinched as his mouth burned, resulting in the mug to fall from his hands and the tea all over his blankets. the boy was just quick to save his book from getting soaked in his burning state.

 

hyunwoo jumped off the floor and without thinking further, cupped hoseok’s face in both of his palms, examining the..lips. yeah, it was a terribly bad idea. the other boy seemed a bit out of it still as he didn’t react to their closeness or the fact that hyunwoo had his head in his hands. he was just hissing and trying to cool his parted most with his hand that was continuously fanning in front of his face. and of course his tongue stretched out.

hyunwoo swallowed hard and couldn’t tear his eyes away from the lips that looked so soft and kissable. his heart started beating fast against his chest, his own lips parting without him knowing it.

“ my bed’s all wet. “ hoseok whined as he looked down, causing his cheeks to be squished between hyunwoo’s palms and pouted. he was absolutely adorable in that moment.

the blanket burrito boy looked back up and directly into his eyes. hyunwoo gasped and blinked several times to get himself together and do everything in his power not to close the distance and put his lips on the delicious-looking pouty ones. after several long seconds he let go of the soft cheeks and stood straight.

“ y-you can sleep in my bed tonight. “ he pointed at it as he scratched the back of his neck, not daring to look at the boy in front of him.

“ but where will you sleep then? “ was the quick question that hoseok asked before a sudden flood of coughs and sneezes attacked him full force. he was really sick.

hyunwoo was quick to pull the many layers of blanket, with wet spots on them, away from hoseok’s body. grabbing his biceps, hyunwoo made him stand up and practically turned them both around and hoseok to take a few steps backward before pushing the boy down on his own bed and wrapping him in his own blanket. which wasn’t of that much help as the latter started to visibly shake due to the cold.

hyunwoo checked to see which of his blankets had survived the tea attack and figured basically all of them had dried already. only the bed itself had a few wet spots on it. they had made a big big fuss out of practically nothing. but it was cruel to make the sick boy move again so he covered him in two more blankets and let him rest in his bed.

 

it was nearly midnight when hoseok’s phone started ringing. the boy didn’t wake up as fast as he usually would but the nonstop ringtone did its job eventually. hyunwoo was in the bathroom at that moment so he couldn’t decline the call in time.

when he came out, hoseok was already talking.

“ i can’t come tonight. i’m really sick. i’m sorry.. “

hoseok must have had no energy taking the phone in his hand for any longer as he pressed the speaker button and let the device land on the bed.

“ your voice gives away how sick you are. give me your address so i can come to take care of you wonho. “ the woman sounded genuinely worried.

“ i live in campus. they won’t allow you in. “ hoseok replied and coughed again, causing the woman to gasp.

“ i told you to wear more wonho. just.. get dressed. i’ll pick you up from the campus. if i can’t go there, you’re coming to my house and i’m gonna take care of you. “ hyunwoo could hear the sound of feet already starting to walk. he assumed wonho must be the name he uses for his work.

“ but noona… “ hoseok whined.

“ hush. get dressed. quick. i’ll be there in 20. “ the woman said and hoseok chuckled. he didn’t seem to be bothered by the woman at all.

 

“ are you really going?! “ hyunwoo asked not believing his eyes when hoseok actually got out of bed. the latter hummed as he walked to the shower tiredly. it wasn’t even five minutes later when he came out, completely washed up and started getting dressed.

he waited and waited for hoseok to at least dry his hair but when it didn’t happen, he grabbed his bicep and dragged him all the way back into the bathroom. hyunwoo pushed him down on a chair as he plugged in the blow dryer and started drying the wet black strands, brushing his own fingers in them to quicken the process. or to just have his fingers finally between the hair he had always wanted to touch.

“ i don’t have much time. she’ll be here soon hyunwoo. it’s dry enough. “ hoseok smiled as his head moved from the way the other was moving his fingers on his scalp. whenever the warm air hit the sick boy’s face, he would squint his eyes until they were closed and the whole movement made wrinkles appear on his face and it was just too cute for hyunwoo to handle. he ended up ruffling hoseok’s hair and muttering one ‘ aigoo ‘ as he laughed. the other boy chuckled his beautiful chuckle as well.

“ you’re gonna burn my hair at this point you know. “ hoseok said smiling up at him as he looked from under his bangs, looking a lot younger than he was. “ it’s okay. she’s a good person hyunwoo. we actually never slept together. she always wants me to just keep her company. “

well, shit. as it appeared the other had read his mind. in his mind hyunwoo had intended to make the drying hair session last longer. somehow convincing himself that it would stop hoseok from leaving to a woman.

“ why would someone pay to have company?! don’t they know of a term called ‘ friend ‘ ? “ he asked with raised eyebrows as he turned the device off and looked into the other’s eyes.

“ you may not believe it but i’ve met so many like her. even most of the ones i do sleep with are really only seeking the affection their own husbands don’t give them. “ hoseok stood up and walked out of the bathroom.

he opened the closet and pulled a really fluffy white hoodie out. it was for winter but it wasn’t nearly enough for this weather.

“ you’re gonna have to wear more than that. “ hyunwoo pointed at him.

“ it’s fine. her car is gonna be as hot as hell now that she knows I’m sick. “  hoseok bid him goodbye and left the room. hyunwoo stood there wondering why that damn hoodie made hoseok look so much cuter. and that for some reason, the latter didn’t have the disgusted look on his face that he’d usually have once he was about to leave to meet someone. did hoseok actually like this woman by any chance?..

 

 

 

hyunwoo wasn’t feeling good recently. hoseok was back to his routine, meaning he was never there. and hyunwoo found himself missing him a lot. it seemed like the time they spent in their shared room together during previous finals had taken its toll on him. he missed the relaxed and smiley boy not the tensed, sad and tired guy he was seeing these days.

 

it was already the second month of their last semester. hoseok had grown terribly quiet. he wouldn’t even talk as much as he did before which wasn’t much either. hyungwon would call him 2-3 times a week and they’d talk for about 20 minutes. hoseok would break into tears as soon as he’d hang up. not that he cried in front of hyunwoo but he just knew. it was obvious with the red and swollen eyes and lips and the blushed cheeks. even with the way he tried to hide his face from hyunwoo at all costs.

 

 

hyunwoo had somehow managed to force the muscular guy to sit and watch a movie together with him. they were on his bed, right next to each other with their shoulders touching. hoseok was completely into the movie. he would laugh out loud or get startled easily with the scenes. but they couldn’t watch it till the end as his phone started ringing.

“ hm? “ his tone was changed 180 degrees as soon as he picked up. it turned into a dominant one. the total opposite of the sweet tone he usually used while talking in the room.

“ now? i don’t work at this hour. let alone that kind of shit.“

“ how much? “

“ what the fuck?! how rich are they?! “ hoseok’s eyes widened at the number and sighed.

“ fine. but you’ll owe me one hyung. i was actually watching a movie for once. actually watching it without getting touched all over. “ he chuckled at something the other person must have said.

“ just text me the address. i’ll go right away. “ 

hoseok got up and changed. his hand was on the doorknob, ready to turn it and leave when he stopped.

“ watch the movie till the end please. i want to know what happens to that girl in the end. i’ll ask you about it when i’m back. “ he said with a smile before he left.

hoseok didn’t come back that night. he didn’t even go to his classes the next day.

 

hyunwoo came back to the campus around 9pm. they had gone to the cafeteria after their classes as usual and then the guys dragged him along with them to the arcade.

when he opened the door, the room was pitch-black. but there was the sound of the shower running so he knew hoseok was back. turning the light on, he saw a big amount of money scattered all over the boy’s bed. several bills all over the covers and some even on the floor. it was like the other had thrown them there, not caring where they landed.

he waited. hyunwoo waited for a long time. an hour maybe. but hoseok didn’t come out of the shower nor did any sound ever come out from there. only the constant sound of water hitting the tiles. he was getting worried.

 

standing up, hyunwoo made his way to the bathroom and knocked three times. then he knocked again, louder this time. but when there was no reply, he panicked and opened the door. the lock was broken so he went in easily.

turning around the corner and walking in the shower area, he didn’t see the muscular guy until he looked down. hoseok, the big guy with angry muscles, the one who had a body bigger than him, was curling up in the very corner as the water kept on running down on him with his clothes still on. he looked really small like that with his knees to his chest and his hands circled around them. his head was hanging low, his forehead resting on his knees as his body shivered. the water must have become cold by now.

walking forward carefully, hyunwoo stretched his hand toward the water and got shocked by how freezing cold it was. how was hoseok, the one who would shiver with the slightest breeze, sit there for an hour? or more. god knows for how long he had been here while he himself was out having fun.

turning off the water, he crouched down and knelt before the trembling figure.

“ hoseok.. “ he called his name. the black-haired guy didn’t react at all. he only merely kept on shivering.

“ hoseokie.. “ he got closer and shook him with both of his palms on the broad shoulders.

hoseok’s body flinched as he suddenly looked up straight at him with widened eyes. there was so much going on in those dove-like eyes that hyunwoo couldn’t grasp all of it in the few seconds they locked gaze.

before he knew it, hoseok had attached himself to his body in a desperate hug as he cried his heart out. loud sobs echoing in the bathroom as he hugged the boy in his arms back and drew soothing patterns on his back.

he didn’t know what to do. hoseok was tugging on his shirt with so much desperation as he kept hiccupping from time to time in between his helpless sobs. hyunwoo only moved his left hand from his back and let it run between the wet black strands as he caressed it and massaged the boy’s scalp. it always managed to calm him down when he was a kid and his mother did this.

“ did something happen hoseok? “ he asked as he placed a kiss on the boy’s temple, not able to stop himself.

“ it hurts. my heart hurts so fucking much hyunwoo. i hate it all. i hate myself. i hate my body. i hate them all. it won’t wash off. no matter how much i scrub, the dirt they leave on me by their touch never comes off. “ he was practically forcing the words out of himself. his voice cracked so many times. hyunwoo could feel him grow weaker by the second with how his arms loosened around him and his body became heavier in his arms.

“ i wanna die. i wanna die so bad but i can’t leave hyungwon behind. i can’t leave him alone like our parents did us. “ hoseok murmured before his sobs died down but the tears never stopped. it was just that he had lost all of his energy and was no longer able to make any sound or move his limbs. he just let himself fall back on the tiles and leaned on the wall.

“ let’s get you out of these clothes first, okay? you’re gonna get sick like this. “ hyunwoo said after a couple of minutes of absolute silence as he brushed the black strands that were sticking to the boy’s forehead away from his face. hoseok opened his eyes and stared at him as he did. his eyes were glued on hyunwoo and they were the saddest he had ever seen.

in the end, hoseok didn’t let hyunwoo help him change his clothes. he didn’t even undress until he left the bathroom. and that was when he realized he had not once seen the other get changed in front of him. he had never seen hoseok naked or even topless.

 

“ are you feeling better? “ hyunwoo asked as he watched hoseok drink the tea he gave him.

“ i’m sorry you had to see that. i… “ he sighed with his head low “ i drank too much. i get all whiny and shit when i’m drunk. “ he took another careful sip and hummed in satisfaction. “ this tea is magical. my mom used to make us this exact tea every evening. hyungwon and dad hated its taste but i loved it. i always drank hyungwon’s for him before mom would notice and scold him for not drinking. “ hoseok chuckled as he seemed lost in his memories.

“ your family must have been a happy one “ hyunwoo commented gently, not really knowing what else to say. he was never good at comforting people and he had never hated his lack of skill this much before.

“ hmm,, we were. we were poor but we were happy together. “ hoseok played with the mug in his hand, scratching his nails on it without any sound.

“ what happened? to your family “ he asked but regretted it right after.

“ you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. i’m sorry i asked. “ he panicked and gestured his hands in the air while shaking his head.

“ it’s okay. it’s been years. “ hoseok smiled crookedly at him and placed his mug on the floor by the bed. they were both sitting on the edges of their beds across from each other.

“ it happened two days after my high school graduation. mom and dad both worked at the same factory. something, i don’t know what, but something went wrong and the whole building… it got blown up. many died, our parents included. “ the muscular guy was talking with his voice as low as possible as he kept on abusing the skin of his fingers with his nails. “ i was 18 but hyungwon was only 10. the only thing we had left was the tiny house we owned and the money the insurance company gave us. we fed on that for a year as i struggled to find a job. “ hoseok shrugged “ but no-one wanted to hire a high school graduate who knew nothing and was clumsy as fuck. i was a wreck so i messed everything up and they’d fire me after the first two days or so. “ a long pause drowned the room in complete silence. the sound the students were making in the hallway the only thing that made it all real and not the nightmare it seemed to be.

“ i came upon this guy one night when i was literally crying in a club. he told me i had a face and a body women would dig and that i should give him a call if i want a job that pays well. as you can guess by now, that’s how i became ‘ the gigolo guy ‘ “ hoseok said as he gestured his hand in the air like he was announcing something grand and chuckled sarcastically. “ i sent hyungwon away with the money i got from selling the house as soon as i started working though. this city is small and the people always run their mouths. hyungwon is very fragile so i didn’t want him to get hurt because of the shit i do to get money. “ the guy suddenly laughed as he looked up at hyunwoo who was listening with tears that threatened to fall.

“ why am i telling you all this? you didn’t even ask! i just kept on ranting. “ it looked like hoseok looked closer at him and then his face became serious all of a sudden as a deep frown appeared on his face.

“  and now you’re pitting me with those teary eyes! great! please don’t cry or i’ll jump out of that fucking window. “ he didn’t look away.

 

hyunwoo felt a shiver run down his spine at the gaze he was under. it was a mystery how hoseok could pull that intimidating gaze out of nowhere after having looked so vulnerable.

“ i’m not pitting you hoseok. “ the gaze was intense but it wasn’t enough to scare hyunwoo away.

he stood up from his bed and walked the few steps toward the other’s. kneeling in front of him, he took hoseok’s hands in his. he didn’t know what he was doing but he just.. hyunwoo just needed to make sure the black-haired guy knew he wasn’t fucking pitting him.

“ i’m just.. my heart’s hurting thinking you had to go through all that alone.”

“ i wasn’t alone. i had hyungwon. “ hoseok was still frowning but he didn’t take his hands away from hyunwoo’s.

“ yes. but, you were only 18 and you had to take care of the both of you. i don’t know about hyungwon but i know how fragile _you_ are. it must have been so hard on you trying to keep a strong face for your brother like you still do. “ hyunwoo talked slowly as he caressed the back of hoseok’s hands with his thumbs. his skin was really soft.

“ fragile?! “ the latter laughed quietly with a raised brow “ hyunwoo, have you seen my muscles?! “ 

hyunwoo smiled as he let his eyes run over the exposed biceps.

“ yes “ he looked back at the other’s eyes that were watching him intently “ and they’re beautiful.. but you and i both know that all of this muscle mass is only a facade. a mask that covers the fragile boy that still cries silently every night because he doesn’t like his job or because he misses his parents or maybe he just wants to have his brother by his side again. “ he whispered as his eyes jumped from hoseok’s eyes back and forth. he got lost in them and kept staring. only when a single tear ran down the already swollen cheeks did he get out of it.

“ ah, this is so embarrassing “ hoseok took his hands out of hyunwoo’s grip and wiped over his face mercilessly as he turned his face away.

“ it’s not. you’re only human. and humans tend to break from time to time.” he patted the guy’s thigh and looked to the side where the mug was placed earlier.

“ your tea got cold. “ 

“ i can still drink it. “ the latter said and tried to reach for the mug but hyunwoo stopped him by taking his wrist.

“ it’s cold hoseok. are you going out tonight? “ he asked as they locked eyes again. the other was looking at him as if he was trying to read his mind. he shook his head in response.

“ good. you should get some sleep then. i haven’t seen you sleep much the past few days. “ hyunwoo said as he slowly let go of the wrist. he didn’t want to.

hoseok leaned back a bit and raised an eyebrow at him as he grinned.

“ be honest, are you keeping an eye on me?! “

“ well… we live in the same room and i have eyes so.. “ he shrugged and stood up, sitting back down on his own bed.

hoseok crawled under the covers and so did hyunwoo.

“ besides, i get worried. and before you put a ‘petty’ label on it, i’m informing you that friends are obliged to worry about each other. “

“ friends?! when did we become friends!? “ he heard hoseok say as the other guy shifted in his bed.

“ i think we’re friends. “ hyunwoo simply replied.

it was quiet for a few seconds as he suspected hoseok was watching him like he always did when he was a bit confused or had something on his mind.

“ are you okay being friends with someone like me? “ his voice was so little and without any kind of confidence. 

hyunwoo shifted to his side and saw that hoseok was indeed watching him from the same position as he was in at that moment. they were lying on their own beds, facing each other and looking into each other’s eyes from the few meters that separated them.

“ what do you mean someone like you? there’s nothing wrong with you. if anything, you’re one of the kindest people i know. “

“ you know what i mean hyunwoo. don’t try turning the subject around. “ hoseok said as he looked at him a bit longer before shifting again and lying on his back, staring at the ceiling instead.

“ i don’t think we’re friends. we’re just roommates. friends know stuff about each other. i know absolutely nothing about you besides the fact that your taste in tea is the same as me and you only know the bullshit i threw at you tonight. “

hyunwoo kept watching hoseok talk. how his lips moved and how he blinked. his side profile was gorgeous.

“ you didn’t throw bullshit at me. i’m very thankful you found me trustworthy enough to share your story with me. “ he said without moving one bit.

hoseok laughed out beautifully “ you’re so cheesy, you know that?! i bet you get girls easily. “

“ i’m not cheesy. and, i’m gay. so thanks, but no thanks. “ he said before thinking again and his eyes widened at the fear of scaring the muscular guy away. it was unreasonable to be scared but he had seen it a few times to know it’s possible.

hoseok’s head turned to him at the speed of light and his eyes were as wide as they could get. “ you’re gay?! wow, how could i not figure that out?! i’m usually good at these things! “ he chuckled and went back to staring at the ceiling. “ no need to panic though. i’m cool with it. but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re cheesy. just changes the girls you can get with that tongue to boys. “

“ well you don’t see me getting anyone now, do you?! “ hyunwoo laughed, mostly in relief that whatever it was they had between them was safe.

“ as i said, i don’t know anything about you. you could have a sugar daddy or be one yourself or just simply have a boyfriend or even be a serial killer and i still wouldn’t know. “ hoseok wrapped the blankets around himself tighter. he was probably still cold from all that cold water that ran down on him earlier.

hyunwoo inhaled deeply and copied his room mate’s position as he laid on his back as well and stared at the plain white ceiling. he immediately found himself regretting it though. hoseok was a far better view than this boring surface.

“ i’m 22 and i’m an only child. both of my parents are still alive, though they live in tokyo as dad’s main company branch is there. i swim a lot, many times a week. i used to dream about going to the olympics but then gave it up cuz i got interested in constructions. plus, my dad wants me to take over the company someday and the whole swimming professionally thing didn’t fit with my future plans so now i do it as a hobby and a way to relieve stress. i only dated two boys in my whole life but i never managed to actually fall in love and we eventually broke up. “ he paused and thought about what other things he could find about himself to talk about.

“ i don’t know what else to say.. ah, i like beer. correction, i love beer! and dancing. we always go to this club with the guys in the weekends. i wish you’d go with us sometime. “ he said excitedly and turned his head toward hoseok.

the latter snorted “ your friends don’t like me. also, i’m older than you by two years so get ready to call me hyung from now on. “ hoseok looked at him and winked teasingly.

hyunwoo’s eyes widened and he got up on his elbow “ you’re 24?! you look younger than me! what the hell?! “

hoseok laughed quietly “ you should’ve seen me before i got all bulky. i looked younger than hyungwon! it was a complete shit show trying to prove to people that my ID wasn’t fake! “ 

“ i can not imagine you without your rock-hard muscles to be honest! but i’d love to see a picture! do you have any?! “ hyunwoo didn’t know what this feeling inside his chest was. he only knew that he wished, with all of his existence, that he could have his fingers in hoseok’s hair at that moment.

“ no, hyungwonnie took the only photo album we kept with him. i didn’t really have a place to stay back then so i couldn’t keep anything. “ there was a pause as hoseok shifted and they were facing each other again. hyunwoo let himself get comfortable on the mattress with his arm under his head as he was happy inside that the beautiful face was his view again.

“ but, i mean, how come you’re single?! you’re always surrounded by so many. i’ve seen you around for 4 years now and not once were you by yourself! “ the.. older asked. it felt kind of weird to know that hoseok was older than him. he had always thought they were of the same age.

“ before i answer your question, let me ask, should i be calling you hyung from now on?! “ god he was being so awkward.

“ what?! “ hoseok’s eyes widened and he burst out laughing. “ no stupid! absolutely not! i hate this older/younger crap so much. it’s so meaningless. “

“ oh thank god! i was feeling really awkward about it! “ he laughed shyly.

“ back to your question,.. well, we’ve known each other since high school and we kinda got stuck to each other. they, uh.. they aren’t really bad people. they just find unnecessary topics important sometimes. “ he said nervously as hoseok looked at him and only him the whole time with a smile on his face.

“ is that your way of saying yes they talk shit about you but it’s only for fun? “ the older chuckled.

“ they actually don’t talk shit. they’re mostly really terribly curious about your libido and how you can keep up. and your work out supplies. and sometimes my gay friend just drools as he imagines himself to be in the place of the lady you’re taking with you. “ 

hoseok’s smile was wiped off his face slowly as he looked down.

“ my libido.. “ it was more like he said it to himself but hyunwoo heard it.

“ tell your friend i’m not the one taking them with me. they are. “ he said as he looked at him one last time before he turned around completely, facing the wall. hyunwoo remained in his position, watching hoseok’s back before closing his eyes.

“ good night hoseok. “

“ good night hyunwoo. thanks for considering me a friend. “ 

 

 

 

 

five weeks passed. hyunwoo had thought they’d get closer after that night’s talk but boy was he wrong. hoseok avoided him as best as he could and the atmosphere was really strange between them. maybe he wasn’t okay with him being gay after all. he would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. that hoseok ignoring him and leaving sooner or coming back really late didn’t hurt. but he couldn’t do or say anything. they had around two more months until this whole roommate thing would be over as they’d be graduating.

 

that night, he decided to stay awake until hoseok came back. he wanted to talk to him. he _needed_ to talk to him. he was going insane. he didn’t know why.. scratch that. he did know why but there was nothing he could do about it. he had fallen in love with his roommate since a long time ago without even knowing it himself and it was eating him alive, knowing that he guy was straight and in other people’s arms every single passing day. hyunwoo felt like crying. he had cried several times in the silence of his shared room that never had the other around.

it was exactly 3:41 when the door opened and hoseok walked in. the smell of cigarettes filled out the entire room almost immediately with how strong it was.

“ hey “ hyunwoo spoke carefully. something felt wrong. “ you okay?.. “

hoseok didn’t answer. he took his jacket off and threw it on the bed as he walked toward the bathroom. the sound of water running soon broke the silence of the room.

he came out an hour later, probably expecting for hyunwoo to be already asleep as he didn’t try to hide the big angry bruise he had on his cheek. it looked like someone had punched him with all the strength they had.

hyunwoo’s heart stopped upon seeing that and he jumped up from the bed. hoseok himself was frozen in place when he noticed that he was awake and tried to hide his face but it was too late by then.

he cupped the latter’s face with his palms as careful and gentle as he could and turned his face. the corner of his lips was wounded and he had a scratch right on his cheekbone, hidden by the colors of the bruise on his face.

“ what happened? “ he asked with a panicked tone.

“ let go “ hoseok tried to step back but hyunwoo kept him in place and resulted in the other wince in a pain he didn’t know the source of.

“ why are you wincing? are you hurt anywhere else? what the fuck happened to you hoseok? “ he was becoming frustrated more and more each passing moment. he wanted to kill whoever had done this to his roommate.

“ fucking let go of me “ the latter yelled and pushed hyunwoo back with force. “ don’t get involved in my shit hyunwoo. we’re only here for two more months and then we’ll never see each other again. just stay away from me. “ 

hyunwoo was shocked by the outburst “ why should i stay away from you? why do you always push me away the moment we become a bit closer? “ he was now just as frustrated as the guy in front of him but he kept his voice down still.

“ because you’re fucking with my head. “ hoseok yelled again with his face as serious and intense as it could get. but hyunwoo could somehow see the desperation behind that mask. the true feelings were always hidden somewhere behind that all tough and strong mask hoseok had on at all times. “ you’re fucking me up and i can’t afford that. “ 

“ how am i fucking you up hoseok? i just wanna be friends. i wanna- “ he took a step forward and the latter took a step back as he cut him off.

“ i don’t wanna be friends with you. “ 

hyunwoo felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. swallowing hard, he took another step forward in which hoseok didn’t move to because he didn’t really have any space behind himself anymore. he was standing by the desk and hyunwoo was standing a mere step away from him.

“ fine. don’t be my friend. but tell me what happened? who did this to you? tell me and i’ll break both of their hands for having the guts to do this to your face and god knows where else on your body. “ he said and checked hoseok up and down but couldn’t trace any other injury under the black clothing.

“ guts?! “ hoseok laughed hysterically. “ hyunwoo! you don’t seem to understand! i’m a fucking manwhore! the husband walked in on us and beat the shit out of me. i only managed to flee before he could kill me and thank god i hadn’t undressed yet! otherwise i would be running in the streets naked. you wanna break his hands?! why would you? just go and have fun talking behind my back like everyone does. why would you bother with a piece of shit that i am? why? WHY? “ hoseok yelled again and again as he closed the distance between them and stood face to face with hyunwoo. 

he looked down into the wide round eyes that were sparkling.

“ i understand. i know what kind of a job you have but i try to not think about it as it’s just torture to me. i know how horribly you hate it and it makes it even worse on me. i… you wanna know why i still wanna find him and break his hands because of hurting you even though i know he’s kind of entitled to do this? “ he spoke in a low voice as calm as he could which wasn’t that calm really. “ i’ll keep it simple for you then. it’s because i love you. i’m fucking in love with you and you’re straight and you have this job that is killing you inside bit by bit and i hate it all. i _hate_ seeing you hurt like this and i _hate_ it when you cry almost _everyday_ and how you bite your lips until you bruise them. “ he had yelled his last sentences without the intention to. he had yelled to the muscular guy that he loved him and now the said guy was just standing there, staring at him with a look hyunwoo couldn’t read at all.

“ you’re right. i should just stay away from you. it’s not like you can ever return my feelings anywa- “ he wasn’t able to complete his word because a pair of soft lips came in touch with his own. it wasn’t hungry. it was quite the opposite. it was a very hesitant kiss. hoseok had cupped his face and their lips were only pressing against each other. he could feel the black-haired guy shaking and soon he felt hot liquid on his skin. hoseok was crying.

wrapping his arms around the muscular body slowly, he pulled hoseok closer and hugged him tightly as he pressed his lips further against the older’s.

a few seconds passed like that until hoseok grasped the situation, gasped and leaned back, pushing hyunwoo a bit again in the process.

“ i-.. i.. “ he tried to talk but failed and just stood there looking at hyunwoo, looking terrified as fuck.

“ hoseok,.. what was that? “ he asked but the other didn’t say anything.

“ do.. do you.. perhaps.. like me or something? “ again, no reply. only this time, the guy broke into full tears and started sobbing into his palms like a kid who had lost their mother in the crowd.

“ hoseok… “ he said as he walked forward again and hugged the other to his chest.

“ stay away from me… please.. “ the latter said as his voice cracked and then, despite his words, he hugged hyunwoo back tightly, tugging on the back of his shirt. “ i can’t… i can’t stop thinking about you. you’re making me go crazy. i was fine. i was fine keeping my distance from everyone who could make me feel something. but then you had to come into my life and fuck it all up as if it wasn’t a complete shit show already. “ hoseok’s voice was muffled by hyunwoo’s skin as he pressed his face against the taller’s crook of neck.

hoseok cried in his arms for a rather long time without calming down before he suddenly looked up straight into his eyes for a few seconds.

“ you should take responsibility “ he said before attacking hyunwoo’s lips in a desperate kiss. putting his palms on his chest, hoseok made him walk backward by pushing him until they reached his bed and then the latter pushed him down on the mattress and straddled his lap right after.

“ h-hoseok, what are you doing? “ hyunwoo asked between the hungry, all tongue and bite kisses. he was losing his sanity. the guy on his lap was so intoxicating, so delicious and a dream come true. his lips were so addictive and even though their kiss was quite rushed, it was turning him on more and more beyond imagination. it was getting dangerous.

“ like i said, you should take responsibility. it’s all your fault. me remembering the fact that i’m actually gay behind all the pretense and the pills i take to get hard to fuck these women for money is your fucking fault. “ he hissed and kissed hyunwoo again, deeper and with more desperation as he took his own shirt off followed by hyunwoo’s.

“ stop. stop. wait a second. “ it was hard to stop it all but he couldn’t go on like that. the words that had just been spoken were ringing in his head repeatedly.

“ w-what do you mean you’re actually gay and take pills to get hard?! hoseok, what.. what are you doing to yourself? “

the boy on his lap was panting roughly with eyes full of lust as he looked back at him with his parted mouth and already half-lidded eyes. he looked ethereal. his exposed pale skin was glittering as he wasn’t really dry yet from the shower he took earlier.

“ what i do for a living is irrelevant right now while i’m dying over you and your fucking sexy body. “ hoseok traced hyunwoo’s bottom lip with his index finger as he talked. “ now shut up and kiss me before my brain starts functioning again and i run away. “ the muscular guy leaned in and the kiss was so good and their skin touching skin felt so hot that hyunwoo couldn’t really think straight anymore. he wanted to stop and ask about it all but he couldn’t. hoseok was too hot for his own good and hyunwoo was already so weak for him. he ended up kissing the other guy everywhere he could reach and pulling him closer and closer to himself. when the black-haired guy pushed him until his head hit the pillow and kissed his way down from his chest, he was a total lost cause. hoseok could take his life and he would say thank you.

 

 

 

they had calmed down a while ago and now hoseok was lying in his arms, his index finger drawing patterns on hyunwoo’s chest as the taller played with the now dry strands of black hair.

“ you are amazing. i can still hear you in my head! “ he chuckled and placed a kiss on top of the older’s head.

hoseok giggled and pinched his bicep playfully. “ and you are suspiciously good considering the fact that you’ve only dated two men! “ he looked up at hyunwoo from under his messy bangs. “ or do you sleep around son hyunwoo? do i need to call your father to discipline you? “

“ what?! “ he looked at the boy in his arms with wide eyes, not because he was accused of doing one night stands but because when he looked down and locked eyes with hoseok, he looked even more beautiful if that even made sense. “ i don’t do that. i promise. i just.. i don’t know. i guess it was in me from the start. “ 

the older laughed loudly and ruffled his hair “ you’re cute when you panic.” 

“ what the hell?! “ he asked as he shook his head away from the hand that was messing his hair. they both laughed shortly before going into a complete and uncomfortable silence. they knew the situation was fucked up and they needed to talk about it all but they were trying to postpone it with all they got. hyunwoo was dying inside with the thought that the boy he loved would be in someone else’s arms in the evening and hoseok was dying because he would have to leave to be with someone else, a woman, later.

“ hoseok, i-.. “ hyunwoo finally gathered his courage to talk but the latter’s ringtone broke the silence first. it was hyungwon’s ringtone.

looking at the clock on the wall, hoseok’s face got worried in a second as it was really late at night in new york. he jumped out of bed and ran to his phone immediately. hyunwoo was thankful the other remembered to cover his naked self with the blanket before pressing the green button.

“ hyungwon, what’s wrong? “ he asked hurriedly as soon as the younger’s face appeared on the screen.

“ HYUNG! you can’t believe WHAT just HAppened! “ hyungwon was practically screaming with what they hoped was excitement.

“ well fucking tell me already. what happened? are you okay? “ hoseok asked and pulled the blanket higher.

“ YES, i’m freaking Amazing! hyung!! i got a scholarship! i was checking my emails just now and i saw the mail and i couldn’t believe it at first but then i called them and they said it wasn’t fake and i couldn’t wait till tomorrow. i had to tell you right away. i know it’s quite early there and you must have been asleep but i’m sorry. i just had to let you know! hyung! do you know what that means?! you don’t have to worry about the next two years of my high school tuition anymore! they’re gonna pay everything!! “ hyungwon kept on talking fast without even breathing.

“ but who sponsored you? and why?! “ hoseok was all but confused.

“ remember that competition i joined last year? the one at the MIT? the results came out yesterday and i got the first place. and today they emailed me that they had got in touch with the school and they checked my grades and read a few of my papers and that they’d like to sponsor me. i can’t believe this! i’m even going straight into the MIT university right after i graduate high school and as long as i keep my grades up and do a good job at competitions and stuff, they’re gonna keep on sponsoring me the whole way till M.A.! “ hyungwon was tearing up as his voice was visibly shaking.

hoseok didn’t say anything but a few seconds later hyunwoo heard him sniffling.

“ ah hyuuuung! why are you crying??! it’s good news!! “ the younger whined.

“ they’re happy tears. “ hoseok laughed and wiped the tears that had rolled down on his face. he had strategically laid down on the pillow on his side, pushing the side of his face that had the bruise to the fluffy surface so that it wouldn’t be visible to his brother. “ i’m so proud of you hyungwonnie. mom and dad would be so proud if they were here. “ he couldn’t hold it in anymore and sobbed quietly.

“ hoseokie hyung … “ the younger called him but it was obvious that he himself had started crying as well.

“ you have to only focus on yourself from now on. i have my part-time job. it covers the rent and other expenses just fine. and now that you don’t have my tuition to pay and with your B.A over, you can start saving up so you can come here sooner! we can move to a bigger house with the money i’ve saved up once you do. “  

hoseok was looking at him with so much adoration as he talked endlessly.

“ wonnie, it was supposed to be a surprise.. but i already got accepted there. i’ll be with you in four months. “  the older said giggling and sniffling again.

“ WHAT? when? how? why didn’t you tell me about it you traitor? “ he pouted.

“ well that’s how surprises work idiot! i’ve been sending my projects and ideas to a few companies there. this one found them interesting and after a long back and forth process, they finally decided to hire me. i’ll start working there once i get my degree. it doesn’t pay much at first but it’s worth it because we’ll be together. i miss the hell out of my brat. “ hoseok said as a bright smile appeared on his face.

hyunwoo didn’t know what to feel. he was really happy for these brothers finally able to reunite. he was super happy that hyungwon got this scholarship meaning hoseok didn’t have to pay around 80k each year anymore. he was happy that he got a job, but.. he would be leaving in four months and knowing the other guy, he was sure hoseok would never come back to this country ever again. the older hated it there after all.

he looked at the beautiful muscular guy talk and laugh for a while, admiring him in his head. hoseok was really strong, pulling through everything like that and never showing it to his younger brother.

 

once the call was over, the older threw his phone on the bed and laid on his back, spreading his arms and legs all over the bed as he inhaled deeply with closed eyes and a big smile on his face. hyunwoo had never seen him that happy before. the urge to go to him and shower him in endless kisses was strong but he held back.

“ i’m free! “ hoseok said excitedly “ a few more months and then i’m free from this job forever. “ he still hadn’t opened his eyes.

hyunwoo couldn’t help it anymore. it was all too inviting with the other laying there like that with his toned chest and arms on display.

getting out of his bed, he put his sweatpants back on and sat on the edge of hoseok’s bed. brushing through his hair with his fingers, he tried to save this image in his head. he didn’t have much time left to spend with this gorgeous man and he didn’t want to have to share him with anyone else and he didn’t want the guy to have to go through it all for even one more day.

“ drop it all right at this moment. “ he said quietly.

hoseok opened his eyes slowly and looked up at him. “ hm? “

“ don’t go out to those women anymore. i can lend you money and you can pay me back whenever. it would even be fine to not pay back but since i know you- “ he kept on playing with his favorite black strands. it calmed him down somehow. he loved it.

“ did you turn possessive all of a sudden just because we slept together once?! we’re not a thing hyunwoo. we can’t be. i’m,.. i’m leaving in four months.. i’m sorry if i led you on in that direction.. “ hoseok’s expression hardened and turned to worry really fast.

“ no, god no. “ he shook his head repeatedly. “ look, truth is, “ he bent down and pecked the other’s lips once, not able to stop himself really “ i got a shit load of money in my bank account that i have no use for. “ he shrugged.

“ wow. show off! “ hoseok teased and slapped his thigh.

“ shut up! “ hyunwoo laughed “ another truth is, i don’t want you to force your body with those dangerous pills. not even one more time. you’re gay, and you’re the submissive one hoseok. i can’t even imagine how you’ve managed to keep this facade all these years. it must have been hell. “ he said as he caressed the other’s bicep up and down gently.

“ hell would be much nicer compared to how i feel every time i’m close to a woman. i.. women are beautiful but seeing them naked, and having to do all those things, it always makes my stomach turn but i have to keep the intimidating face on and do all the work and shit. not to mention how the pills mess with my body. it’s a fucked up tragedy. really. “ hoseok chuckled bitterly as he looked into hyunwoo’s eyes.

letting his fingers ghost on his skin upward, the muscular guy massaged his nape a bit before pulling him down with the hand he had behind his neck until their lips touched.

hyunwoo shifted and got on top of the beautiful older guy that had his arms around his neck as they kissed slowly for a long time.

“ wanna know a secret? “ hoseok whispered breathily against his lips.

“ i wanna know all of your secrets. “ hyunwoo smiled sweetly and pecked the tip of the other’s nose, making him giggle beautifully.

“ cheesy as ever! “ hoseok kissed him a bit more before talking again

“ i actually don’t like being this big. i love working out but i prefer the slim and toned muscles much better. “

“ then why did you get all buffed up? “ hyunwoo asked in confusion.

“ i told you before. i can’t lose to others. “ hoseok simply answered.

“ you _couldn’t_. it’s past tense now. you can start losing the muscle mass from today and have the kind of body that you like. “ hyunwoo emphasized.

“ you really don’t want me out there, huh? “ the guy under him grinned playfully, suggesting something that hyunwoo did not want to approve of but it was somehow the truth. or at least a part of it.

“ well, is it so wrong for me to not want the person i love in someone else’s arms when he himself hates it so bad?! “ he asked calmly as he caressed the bruise on the pale cheek as gentle as he could.

“ it’s not like you can go out there with this on your face anyway. “ he sighed as anger bubbled up inside him again “ i really wanna break his hands. “

“ stop! you’re not supposed to make me all soft and shit. i’m still not out of my badass playboy character to be able to handle this amount of cute affection. “ despite the words he spoke, hoseok took hyunwoo’s hands in both of his and placed a few kisses on his palm.

“ i think i’m gonna accept your help hyunwoo. even thinking about it,…. i don’t wanna go out anymore. not even for one second. i think i’ll die on spot if i have to see one more naked woman or have to keep the stupid dominant gaze on my face. i don’t even have a single dominant bone in my entire body! i but i’ll pay you back. i promise. “ 

hyunwoo’s eyes kept jumping between one perfect feature of hoseok’s face to the other as he listened to what he said with a happy smile and an even happier heart. 

“ i already told you it’s okay if you don’t pay me back. “ he paused and licked his lips “ i thought you might have a few dominant bones in your body but after what i witnessed an hour ago, i know you literally have none. you should get an oscar for your acting skills. “ he smirked at the boy under him suggestively and earned himself a rather hard slap on the bicep.

“ oh, right! what’s you friend’s name? the one with the blond hair. “ 

“ minhyuk? what about him? “ hyunwoo remembered all the times the said guy had drooled over the one he had under him right now, thinking how scary and dominant as fuck this cute fluffy person must be in bed. boy was minhyuk wrong.

“ i bet the poor guy thinks i’m some kind of a sex god. the way he looks at me in the hallways is just pure sin. not gonna lie, i get the creeps whenever he looks at me like that. “ 

hyunwoo laughed out loud at that “ minhyuk will literally have a heart attack when he figures out you’re not a top. he had fantasized about all the possible ways you could take him by now. “ 

“ oh dear god “ hoseok groaned and hid his face in his palms.

they laughed and fell into a comfortable silence, each caressing the other’s naked skin, admiring the view they had and the warmth under their fingertips.

hyunwoo leaned down and buried his face in the crook of hoseok’s neck, inhaling his scent deeply.

“ do you wanna know a secret of mine? “ he said quietly. hoseok hummed and circled his arms around his neck, his fingers running through his hair.

hyunwoo came back up and smiled “ i’ve had a crush on you since the very first time i saw you 4 years ago. “

hoseok’s eyes widened comically as he stared a bit before suddenly breaking out into laughter “ what the fuck is this romcom? it’s the exact same for me! i can still remember it! it was the first day of university and i was late. as soon as i ran into the classroom, my eyes fell on you and i was like DAMN he’s so hot! you have no idea how hard it was to keep my hands to myself all this time we’ve been roommates! “ 

“ wait, for real?! “ hyunwoo asked back, his eyes equally wide.

that day they just decide to ditch their classes and stay in bed together. the classes weren’t of that much importance when you loved someone so much and had so little time to spend with them.

 

 

 

“ your phone has been killing itself. where were you? why didn’t you take it with you?! “ hyunwoo asked as soon as hoseok walked in the room and handed him the device that had driven him insane over the past three hours. people really needed to learn how to give up.

“ i forgot! it’s the first time i forget my phone! “ the latter took the device and looked at all the missed calls.

hyunwoo stood there and watched him as he dialed the number of the person who had been calling him nonstop but before he could press the call button, he took hoseok’s wrist and stopped him.

“ why are you calling her?! didn’t you say you won’t work anymore? “ he was desperately wishing that the latter hadn’t changed his mind. it’s been two weeks and hoseok hadn’t gone out to his ‘work’ 

the latter patted hyunwoo’s hand with his free one gently and basically removed it from his wrist.

“ don’t worry. she’s a friend. “ he got a kiss on his cheek before hoseok started talking on the phone. the conversation was really a talk between friends and hyunwoo was feeling kind of ashamed for doubting the man he loved and his clear words saying he wouldn’t work that job anymore.

 

“ hyunwoo, i’m heading out to buy a new phone. do you wanna come with? “ hoseok asked, changing his outfit from hot into something really fucking cute.

“ i really love the real you a lot more than the other you i got to know first. you’re too adorable hoseokie “ hyunwoo cooed over the boy in the hot-pink over-sized hoodie with hoodie-paws and fluffy hair. he had dyed his hair into a light brown and it made him look really insanely soft. hyunwoo was losing his sanity. “ and of course. i would love to go with you. “ the taller added as he tugged at the hoodie and pulled the older closer to him and wrapped his arms around him right after. hoseok hugged back almost immediately and giggled. his giggles, chuckles and laughs were always music to hyunwoo’s ears. well, his moans too but he decided not to think about that as they had intended to go out and thinking about it would only turn him on beyond healthy measures.

“ what if-.. what if your friends see us together? or other students.. i don’t wanna be the reason for people talking trash about you.. i don’t want anyone to think you’ve become someone like me.. “ there was so much hesitance in each word hoseok talked as he pressed himself closer against hyunwoo’s chest.

“ i don’t care about people talking. let them talk all they want. i’m gonna walk out of this room hand in hand with you and kiss you right in the middle of the hallway for everyone to see. if you’d let me of course. and concerning my friends, well, i’ve talked so much about you that they’re dying to meet you in person! i’ve had to literally threaten them not to come bursting in our room so many times. “ he placed a kiss on the fluffy brown hair.

“ they live in the campus? i’ve never seen them around?! “ hoseok looked up at him with a pout that always appeared when he was confused. 

hyunwoo pecked the kissable lips quickly “ hmm, they live in the other building. “

“ but why do they wanna meet me in person?! don’t they think i’m the big bad wolf dragging their precious friend to hell with me or something?! “ 

hyunwoo had seen this look too often. hoseok could deny it all he wanted but he just knew that the words he knew were spoken behind his back had left a permanent scar on his heart. he wanted to show everyone how sweet, adorable, caring and strong the man in his arms really was behind all the empty and scary masks he had pulled over these years. the students in the university had already been quite shocked by the sudden change in the other’s appearance. hoseok wasn’t wearing the i’ll-fuck-you-the-moment-i-get-you-alone kind of clothes anymore. he still wore the same things but the way he matched the pieces of clothing together turned them from that to fucking hot and cute and the change had quite frankly confused the shit out of people who loved to gossip. the change in hair color and the amount of weight the other had lost in a mere two weeks, making him a bit smaller had been the cherry on top.

“ they never thought that, not even once. they’re good people hoseok. really. and they like you. your notes in that one course literally saved all of us from failing! “ he said and leaned back “ let’s go. “ he took the other’s hand in his. his hands were small compared to his own and they fit into his like they belonged there all along.

“ ah, … “ hoseok stood still on his spot like a stone despite hyunwoo using a bit of his strength in making him walk. 

“ i think it’s best to keep it a secret. i don’t want the whole university to know we’re together. “ the older said and took his hand out of his. it wasn’t a question that hyunwoo had a say in. it was a firm statement. hoseok was like that. he would be all fluffy but then he would be firm when he needed to let him know he wasn’t gonna discuss.

 

 

 

the finals came around again and they were literally dying under its pressure. well, ‘they’ as in hyunwoo and literally every other student except for hoseok. the latter never seemed to be stressed out during the exam times as he studied on a regular basis throughout the whole semester.

they hadn’t met up with his friends yet. every time the topic came up, hoseok would somehow turn the subject around or simply seduce him and they’d end up making love to each other. they’d gone out on so many dates and had so much fun that hyunwoo wanted to cry even thinking about the fact that they’d have to somehow break up before even starting anything in less than a month. he hadn’t even asked hoseok to be his boyfriend yet and they never exchanged the three words again after that first night they confessed to each other.

 

 

“ here “ hyunwoo held the mug with their favorite tea in front of the other’s face.

“ thanks “ hoseok took it while flashing a smile at him for only a second before he went right back to his maquette.

“ you’ve been working like crazy without proper sleep for the past six days hoseok. what was wrong with the other maquette? why did you throw it away as soon as it was finished?! “ hyunwoo wanted to knock him out if that meant he would get some sleep. the brown-haired boy had been acting strange the closer they got to the date of their last exam. he had one last project. one last maquette he needed to build before his B.A would be done with and for some reason he wasn’t liking anything he built. he had witnessed different pieces of equipment getting thrown away in frustration too often the past week. even hyungwon noticed his brother’s frustration through the video calls and kept asking him if anything was wrong. hoseok only replied with what he always did ‘ i’m just stressed out because of the finals. ‘ it was a lie.

“ that was garbage. this project needs to be perfect. and i just can’t fucking get my shit together and get this stupid brain to work. this one is nothing but garbage as well. “ he burst out all of a sudden like hyunwoo had been the trigger that set him on fire.

he stood there by the older’s chair in shock for a couple of seconds before he put his mug on the surface and spun the chair hoseok was sitting on until they faced each other. 

grabbing the other’s wrists, he pulled him up and made him walk with him to his bed. hyunwoo sat on the edge of it and pulled hoseok on his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist that had become quite thin.

“ what’s going on in your head? and don’t give me the ‘ finals are stressing me out ‘ because it’s a lie. “ he asked gently as he brushed the brown hair away from the ethereal face. hoseok had lost so much weight but he still had a bit of his squishy cheeks left and hyunwoo was thanking every god out there for that. he loved his soft cheeks too much to be considered healthy. the obsession was real.

the guy on his lap kept looking into his eyes for a few seconds before breaking into tears all of sudden, sobbing from the very start.

hyunwoo panicked as he couldn’t think of any reason for the other to be like this. he was doing just fine and nothing he knew of had happened for him to react like this.

hoseok attempted to hide his face as he laid his head on hyunwoo’s shoulder, his palms pressing on his face and muffling the desperate sobs.

he was having none of it. grabbing the other’s shoulder, he made him move away a bit and sit straight on his lap. hyunwoo gripped the pale wrists and moved hoseok’s hands from his face before cupping it with his own.

“ what’s wrong? you’re scaring me hoseok. look at me. “ his heart was beating at the speed of light as he searched for the other’s eyes.

“ i can’t tell you. “ he shook his head frantically.

“ why not? “ he asked, trying to appear calm for the other despite panicking more and more on the inside.

“ because then it becomes too real. i.. “ the brown-haired boy finally looked at him “ i’ll leave in less than a month hyunwoo “

his eyes were so sad and now he knew the reason why. hoseok, the person he loved with all of his heart, the only person he had ever loved, was crying like that because they were gonna go their separate ways in about three weeks.

“ hoseokie “ he smiled sweetly as his eyes became teary in an instant. he knew the other person loved him back but he never knew his feelings were this strong for him. hoseok had always appeared rather calm and composed about their whole situation. hyunwoo always thought he was the only one having a hard time and losing sleep and appetite over the fact that they wouldn’t see each other again once the other left. hoseok had once again covered his real emotions with several layers of masks.

 

hyunwoo wiped the waterfall of tears from the brown-haired boy’s cheeks with his thumbs but it wasn’t really of any use because they were replaced immediately by new ones.

“ there’s no need for you to cry like this baby. i’ll go with you if you let me.”  he said as he placed a kiss on the swollen lips.

“ w-what? “ hoseok inhaled deeply, trying to get himself together and wiped his own tears with his sleeves. “ what are you talking about? “ 

“ i wanted to talk about it with you once we’re done with the finals. i talked with my father. i told him i wanna continue my studies in new york. and he was actually quite supportive, saying it would be a good opportunity to open a branch there afterward. so, i.. i can go with you if you let me. i really wanna. even thinking about losing you makes me wanna die. “ he said nervously, scared what the answer would be.

hoseok’s tears had stopped altogether and he was just inspecting his face with a parted mouth.

“ i really want you to come with me hyunwoo. really really. i was losing my mind quite literally thinking about leaving you. “ hoseok hugged him as tight as he could “ we’re really this fucked up hopelessly-in-love couple, aren’t we? it’s not even funny anymore! how did we fall so hard in such a short time?! “ the older said as he chuckled into his neck.

“ tell me about it! i have absolutely no idea either. i just know that i love you with every cell of my body and i wanna keep loving and kissing you forever. “ hyunwoo said as he let caressed the other’s back up and down and kissed his hair several times.

“ and now let’s sleep. you have dark circles under your eyes. “ 

they laid down and it didn’t even take 5 minutes for hoseok to fall asleep in his arms. he must have been too exhausted. physically and emotionally.

 

 

 

New York was a crowded city. it never slept. but their home, the one the three of them lived happily together at, was peaceful.

hyungwon was the sweetest kid. hyunwoo would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous about his boyfriend’s brother’s opinion about their relationship. but he soon realized that all of his worries were pointless when he was embraced warmly by the younger.

hoseok didn’t continue his studies and decided to focus on working hard. it didn’t take him longer than a year to prove himself to his bosses with how brilliant and unique his ideas were. he would come home really late, looking all tired and pretty much like a zombie but he had never been happier and it was written all over his face.

sometimes hyungwon and hoseok would argue about something, mostly how hyungwon didn’t need to work and hoseok was earning enough to cover the expenses but the younger never listened.

they’d go out with hyungwon’s girlfriend on weekends, to a movie or to the arcade or other places. sometimes hoseok would be working on the weekends and hyunwoo would spend his time in the library, studying and leaving the house empty for hyungwon to have some fun time with his girl. the kid was a bit too shy to have her over with the two of them in the house so they made sure he’d have his alone time a couple times a week.

two years later hyunwoo got his Master’s and started working under his father at their new york branch. he wanted hoseok to come work with him there but his boyfriend didn’t accept the offer. his position in the company he was working at was pretty good by then and he didn’t want to leave all of his hard work behind even if it meant they’d get to see each other more during the day. hyunwoo was a bit bitter about it at first but he understood nevertheless.

hyungwon moved out to live with his girlfriend when he turned 19. their house was literally on the top floor as he couldn’t really leave his older brother, but the younger had this thing about being independent that both of them admired.

hyunwoo would still find hoseok crying silently to himself from time to time when he missed his parents but he would kiss the tears away and embrace him tightly until he calmed down.

and the happiest day of his life? well, it was the day he put the ring on hoseok’s finger in front of his family and their friends at their wedding three years later.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this story. i hope you liked Innocence ^^  
> you can check out my other stories as well on my profile.
> 
> let's give a lot of love to Monsta X, shall we?


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